Vietnamese Women: Trauma and Transformation

 

by Anh Le; first published by Nebraskans for Peace July 2023; reprinted with permission

 

This article is a dedication to all the generations of Vietnamese women who suffered, sacrificed, and survived the horror of the Vietnam wartime traumas and the transgenerational traumas. We are strong, resilient, and powerful beyond words.

While the world wants to ignore and forget about our pains and strengths, we are so busy rebuilding our shattered lives that our stories have been put away. Now is the time for sharing our stories of unspeakable sufferings and incredible strengths.

These are the stories of older generations of women fighting in the war; watching our villages being burned and bombed; burying numerous bodies daily; working for peace and rebuilding; taking care of wounded victims; mourning husbands and babies; protecting family; running and hiding from the bombs and gunfire; selling our bodies and dignities to protect and provide for loved ones; sneaking on to boats to cross the oceans; being raped and assaulted by all sides; enduring violence and abuse in refugee camps; tolerating domestic violence; pushing through racist discrimination in a strange land with a strange language… While the world keeps ignoring us, invalidating our pains, pushing away our stories.

These are the stories of younger generations of women born into the war or the aftermath; growing up in physical and emotional destructions; suffering from PTSD rages of our caregivers; living in shame with mental illnesses; being marginalized and invalidated as the model minority; being raised in the toxic soup of unprocessed traumas; trying our best to transform the vicious cycle of transgenerational traumas; enduring physical and sexual abuse; being ostracized for speaking up against domestic violence; carrying the hidden burden of abuse and traumas while being told to smile… While the world keeps ignoring us, invalidating our pains, pushing away our stories. 

Did you know that the PTSD diagnosis came from the work with traumatized Vietnam veterans who suffered from flashbacks of the unspeakable atrocities they witnessed and committed during the war? It was so triggering for me to read about it in the book “The Body Keeps The Scores”, but I pushed myself to keep reading because I want to understand and heal from this trauma. It’s a great book and I admire all the therapists and researchers who are working diligently to help trauma victims. I pray and work for compassion and healing for all beings involved in this horrendous war. However, I can’t help but realize the fact that they are pouring so much energy into treating the perpetrators of the wartime atrocities while completely ignoring the victims. Yes, we are here, right here, for decades!!! We are the ones who were raped, bombed, and killed. We are the ones who were abused by deeply traumatized caregivers. We are the ones who lost parents/family to the war and its aftermath. We are the ones suffering from poverty and discrimination. Why is there a lack of interest and funding for supporting and healing us? Is it because we are “invisible” or “less than human” so we are incapable of being traumatized or undeserving of PTSD treatment? Or is it because we are the part of US history that needed to be erased and silenced? 

The elders in my family and society in general don’t ever want to talk about their experiences. On the rare occasions that I pushed for their stories, they would say something like, “I remembered running from the bombs. Sometimes, I saw body parts hanging from the trees, but I just kept running” or “maybe my dad has shot a lot of people but I don’t know.” Let that sink in! Imagine growing up in this kind of violence and trauma, imagine experiencing 9/11 almost on a daily basis for years!!! Then, you are expected to just get over it, to survive, without any therapeutic help or even an acknowledgement of how traumatizing that was.

Even in the activist circles and academic circles who are committed to social justice for all, we have not been asked to share our stories widely and offered any real validation and support. We are here, we suffer in silence, we scream for help, we cry, we push… but the SILENCE is so LOUD and SUFFOCATING… And we are quiet no more. We are not the invisible, model minority, and submissive minority any more!!! We are here, speaking, sharing, and honoring our herstories even if no one seems to care or listen. Even when we are excluded from social justice concerns. Even when no one wants to invite us to share our traumas. We are doing it for our own healing and for the future generations. From our pains, we will grow incredible powers.

There are many emotional and visceral accounts of the wars and the strengths of Vietnamese war victims. But they are usually ignored by the general public and the activist circles. If you really believe in the effects of trauma and are committed to social justice for all, you need to examine your biases and silence when it comes to such an atrocity as the Vietnam War and its legacy.

I highly recommend peace activists and social justice organizers engage in long term efforts to advocate and amplify the voices of the Vietnam War victims in Vietnam, in the U.S., and around the world. Four million people are still affected by the effects of Agent Orange today and the US and the giant manufacturers have not taken any responsibility to support Vietnamese people. One of the largest atrocities in world history and no one has ever taken responsibility for it!

Eight million tons of bombs dropped on a country the size of New Mexico and the land still has toxins in it. So many traumas and toxins that need healing. It is on the US collective karma. We can’t change the past but we can think about what we can do to transform this negative karma for the present and future generations.

 

Some immediate and simple actions we can do to bring healing to the land and people of Vietnam:

● Contribute to the fundings for people and environments negatively impacted by agent orange.

● Advocate for free mental health support services for war victims and survivors.

● Support culturally competent and bilingual mental health counselors/ social workers to serve the Vietnamese community.

● Prioritize voices of Vietnamese people in events, assigned readings, and learning about the Vietnam war (instead of experts who have not contributed to healing the people).

 

 

Vietnamese women:

Lullaby, lotus, love by Anh Le

 

This is a dedication to Generations of Vietnamese women To the great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters Spreading mud on their faces to deter attention from the foreign soldiers Birthing ten children, only to lose half of them to bombs and guns And witnessing the rest killing each other, fighting on the opposite sides Five millions killed

 

Being the easy targets of rape and torture Selling their bodies and dignities for food and safety Watching their babies being murdered Protecting their family Digging tunnels Burying bodies Singing lullabies amidst gun fires Building the road, gunning down helicopters, growing crops Leading children into bomb shelters, Holding on tight, letting go of some

 

Raising children and visiting husbands in reeducation camps Hopping on to boats, babies in tow, to cross the ocean for a better life Dying, hoping, trying, surviving, jumping into the ocean Being robbed, raped, thrown away, in the ocean, in the refugee camps

 

Or staying, and giving birth to babies just to bury them right away or watch them die slowly Because, Agent Orange, all 20 million gallons

 

Poured on the forests, seeped into the water, stayed in the earth for generations But no, it’s not a thing, they said…

 

Or going to a strange land, with a strange language, and much hostility Learning to survive again, to suppress all the traumas Being labeled exotic, barbaric, submissive But never traumatized, brave, powerful Surviving we must, and with a smile Because we are the lucky ones right? Don’t talk about your transgenerational traumas Don’t demand to be seen and respected You are just lucky we let you in

 

Hush, stay grateful and enjoy your invisibility And when you are abused, you don’t have it that bad After all, ain’t you the model minority? Intergenerational traumas? PTSD? Those don’t exist…for you

 

Bury your traumas, suffer in silence Your bodies don’t keep the score because somehow traumas stop at the border Or you are not that human… Either way, welcome to America! But remember: “We are here because you were there!!!” and we will heal and flourish like lotus growing from the mud, it’s in our blood. From victims to victors. From traumas to transformation. Our sweet lullabies soaring high to a peaceful sky